my biggest fear is to be being trapped with no way to get out, especially in the case of having full awareness but no means to communicate it. that fear was exasperated when i saw brock decline because there were moments where you could see the awareness in his eyes even toward the end. i ached because of it. now i wonder if he was given something that i can't begin to comprehend.
over and over God talks about blessing for the weak. i thought that meant that since the weak have an especially crappy time, God is especially kind to them. that's probably not wrong, but i wonder if there's more to it. i wonder if weakness is a strange gift. if in weakness we taste something more... more of life like we were meant to have it, like we will have.
but that doesn't make much sense does it?
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