i feel like i should type something. so i am. take that world wide web.
i played m.a.s.h. tonight. you know, that one game that middle school girls play in order to giggle about boys and marriage and what not. it was superb. we've added a few additional categories onto husband, wedding dress, honeymoon, kids, car, and job (obviously those are the important things in life). my favorite additions are alter ego and means of death. i discovered that through the all-knowing ways of m.a.s.h. my alter ego is a chair. therefore i feel that it my moral obligation to announce that there may be times when you are around me that you have the uncanny yearning to sit on me. don't worry friends, its okay. i fancy myself a rather plush chair with a little dash of warm fuzzy. maybe something that you'd nuzzle a bit (everyone loves a good nuzzle or two).
speaking of spectacular chairs, my favorite plaid recliner is now sad and unsittable. its a travesty to own the best recliner in the tri-state region and not be able to recline in it because it is in storage. (did i also mention that i'm currently homeless? i prefer to think of myself as a vagabond. seems a little more hipster, which obviously i am.) because of this great injustice, not only to my personal comfort, but to the comfort of humanity as a whole, i have composed a haiku...
plaid recliner friend
you make my rump comfy nice
now you are dead, sad.
now of course you and i know that my recliner has not actually passed away, but i added death for an artistic effect. its just that little pinch of melodramatic forlorn that makes the world go round. sigh.
i've been all into girlishly wonderful things lately. i even watched pride and prejudice. (insert giddy squeal). i've decided that if i ever came across mr. collins i'd kick him in the teeth. or maybe give him a black eye. creeper. and i will not marry my cousin thank you very much, though someone did inform me today that i can happily marry a 1st cousin with only a 2% chance of inbred genetic birth defects. by golly with those stats i think we better set up ourselves a hitchin. someone also informed me today that when he sees red-headed children he wants to punch them. he blames it on some cell phone commercial. i think he was one of the 2%.
i've been athinkin a mighty lot here lately. mostly about the amazing picture my lovely friend drew on my calf/shin/ankle. it is an amazing rendering of five rhinoceri pulling a chariot. tattoo in the making if i ever did see one.
why do i write these pointless posts? oh right, because it is 3:30am and sleep is far, far over-rated. silly me.
in conclusion, i leave you with another haiku...
don't break my heart oh
my achy breaky heart oh
shut up billy ray
classic...
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